Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Never After

I came out of Enchanted today wishing that love was as simple as the silver screen makes it out to be. All of us want to love and want to be loved but as time goes by we develop lists and other things to complicate things. Sigh ... Shouldn't love be about caring for that other person and wanting to be the best person you can be for him or her? Shouldn't it be about looking into that person and finding the best qualities in that person and believing that in time the person can grow to be something so much more beautiful?

I hate reality in some ways. It's harsh. It's complicated. And it's ugly. I hate being here because it's so imperfect here.We all judge each other so much and it's so easy to not like someone because of how they look or how they are. I used to think I was an OK guy and I could get a long with everybody but increasingly I find that isn't true. As much as I want to be able to accept everybody I realise that some personality types and some traits just don't agree with me. Is there really a happy ending out there for us? Is there a happy ending for me?

Things seldom work out the way we want to and I guess we just have to accept that as part of life. Maybe part of being happy is being content. Although there are things that I want very much to happen in my life but I'm learning to take all that I have now and to enjoy it. That means enjoying the freedom that I have in being single rather than seeing it as a curse. I do have freedom now but there's a price to be paid for freedom. This isn't a perfect world after all hence why there will never ever be a happy ever after here on Earth hence the title of my post.

Monday, November 26, 2007

What is Love?

I've been thinking a lot about being in love and how easy it is to fall in love with someone we've made up in our minds. A part of me wonders just how much I truly know about a person before I fall in love with her. How much of it is made up? How much of it really is her? How much of me is blinded by the attraction that I feel and the deep need to be attached?

Attraction and character don't always match and I am very much confused on how to judge the kind of girl who'd be good for me in the long haul. Someone who'd love me for me and would accept me just as I am. Who can see the person that I will be one day and is willing to invest in my life. Seems like such a tall order to make of someone. I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 and it says this.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I broke it down and I realise that I've failed to love her in all those ways. I've not been patient. I've not been kind when my heart was broken. I was jealous and at times arrogant when I lashed out at her. I was angered. And the worst part is that I had so much bitterness in me because I was so hurt & could not forgive. I want to love in the way that Paul writes about. Am I able to always protect & always trust? Am I able to always have hope and persevere? Now that's something to work towards and I hope one day my loved ones will be able to truly say that I have loved them.

Right now being able to love like that seems so far away ... I can love like that a little but the past 3 years have shown me just how angry I can be and it saddens me cos' I wanted nothing more than to love & care for her. Oh how easy it is to hate someone and how difficult it is to forgive. I'm glad that I've chosen to forgive cos' life is to short to hate and I do enjoy life a lot more compared to before.

I am recovering and I thank God for restoring a lot of things in my life that I had lost along the way. I smile a lot more easily now and my mind is not far away as much as before. I thank God I can live in the present now and am a lot more contented. That's a good thing isn't it? :)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Emotional "Flashing"

Is it rude to over-expose what one is feeling even if it's something as public & voluntary as a blog? Does it greatly damage the reputation of the person who is baring his heart and soul? The Bible says this in 1 Corinthians 10:23-24.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

Blogging in some respects can be a very selfish thing. I know I do it for my own therapy. Why do I just bare everything? Because it's difficult having all these thoughts & emotions cooped up inside. It's easier to just vent it out rather than to be silent about it. Maybe it's a selfish thing to do ... the question I'm asking myself is this; do I blog for my own good or do I blog for the good of others?

A part of me really would like something good to come out of this blog. Maybe what I'm going through can help encourage someone else who may be going through something similar? Maybe some of my deep thoughts will strike a chord in someone and lead them to discover what the Bible says for themselves? Maybe my foray into the music industry will also inspire someone else to pursue their dream to make a difference in our country and beyond?

What I do not want this blog to be is this - a meaningless exercise that I go through in putting my heart & thoughts down on paper. I want this blog to make a difference in the lives of the people who actually drop by regularly to read my posts. That's what I want. So here comes the hard part ... I leave it to all of you to make a decision through a poll.

Drop me a line. Let me know what you think. Because blogging for no reason means that I'd much rather stick to my own private journal and forego putting my heart on its sleeve here.
The Long & Lonely Road

I had a pretty long day today, was up at around 7:30am and spent the better part of the day in church at a leaders planning from 9:00am all the way till 2:00pm. Then I caught Lions for Lambs with my brother, his cell leader Jac & her boyfriend Alvin. But the kicker came in the evening when I hung out with some of my old Varsity Christian Fellowship mates in UM and wow ... almost everyone of them have kids & are MARRIED!

Some of my old PKV mates (GOODNESS! I AM FAT!)

I'm really happy for everyone but they made me realise that my life is heading down a very different path. I too want a family and kids but I can't have both. Not at the moment. WIth every challenge that I face building Four Forty Records it's gonna be difficult to raise a family much less take care of a wife whom I wanna love with all my heart. No sacrifice ... no victory.

A testimony I heard from one of the leaders in my zone (thank you for your honesty Uncle Beng Keat) made me realise this. We all wanna achieve something, do something in life but not many of us are prepared to pay the price. In Christianity one of the things we believe in is that all of us share the sufferings of Christ. I figure I'm sharing in a part of it right now - going through a huge career challenge, being rejected by the very person I loved with all my heart, etc and we feel like quitting or gripe/complain about it. The part of me that is still somewhat strong says ... "BITE THE DAMN BULLET! STICK WITH IT!" and there's the part of me that is so emotionally scared that goes "I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING...". Ha ha! I should just listen to the strong voice and stick with it. So what if she doesn't love me back. I know I have done all I can to love her and prove to her that I love her and I wanna grow as a person. And that should be enough ... it's her choice at the end of the day. And we all have the gift of choice so it's her right.

This is my road to walk ... WALK IT THEN! And stop complaining about how darn tired I am and emotionally drained my inner being is. Just walk the line! No need to charge into battle but just walk the path and take my time to do it.

And that as they say ... is that.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Slow Burning Music?

Do you know what it's like to feel like you have a raging anger in you that's on slow burn? As it simmers ... it continues to fuel you and then at the wrong time & wrong place it'd just explode. That's what it feels like for me. I feel like I'm on this timer that threatens to overwhelm me when not kept in check. It's damn frustrating to feel so stuck and trying hard to get unstuck but not really making much progress.

I am very sure of a lot of my choices and it really hits me hard when I get questioned constantly. It drives me up the wall that people assume I have not thought things through and what's worse is that it feels as if people don't realise that a lot of times I have counted the cost of making a decision. It's not easy to stick with things but the cost has already been weighed out. What I cannot say is what the future would hold ... while I know that my decision now to build up Four Forty Records means sacrificing every short term financial payoff, it doesn't make it any easier especially when everything I work towards now goes towards building the artistes in our stable. What do I see out of it? Honestly ... nothing much right now in terms of personal gain but everything in terms of working through the daily grind. What's worse is doing a lot of waiting around because we don't really call the shots. I really love what I do but it's tough facing the reality of the challenges that I must face. I do hope that this investment will pay off in the future but there really is no guarantee to that is there? I guess that's what it means to risk it all doesn't it?

The state of the industry is not too great right now and world-wide we're seeing a shrinking in terms of sales. That's why it's really important we begin educating the young about intellectual property and the damage it does to just go out there and download or buy a pirated CD. That includes software as well. Don't any of you every wonder just how many people depend on the sale of software or a music CD to keep on doing what they love? And while I'm on a roll here ... would it hurt to support local music or even international artistes as well? I really have seen lots of great local talent but what do we hear on radio more? Lots of recycled international songs and not that many local efforts. Make a difference ... and start listening to all kinds of music. We have some really good stuff locally and I'm not just talking about Juwita but people like Reshmonu and so many others both in the English & Bahasa Malaysia segment of the market.

Nuff said! I shall shut up now ... but I leave everyone with this question. Is there a future for the Malaysian music industry? And what can you guys do to be a part of it?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Control

It's been awhile since I last put up a blog post. I've not been feeling like writing anything lately but that's cos' I'm pretty busy with the Children's Church Christmas party helping the kids out in the play. I am so glad that I'm able to put my creative thinking cap on.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot about control and how much we (we as in we humans) want so much to be in control of our lives. We want our choices. We want to be able to determine the outcome of things through our actions. We want to believe that we have control over our lives and our place in our part of the world. I realise more and more that we do not have control over a lot of things. While we may be able to put our hands to the plough and work hard at things ... many occurences in life just aren't within our control.

I've been feeling this a lot in my singlehood and Ps Mike (the guy who has been spending loads of time with me to sort out my internal issues) has been sharing with me a lot about surrender and making a daily decision to surrender my deep, deep desire to be with someone. It's just the same as forgiveness ... where whenever I feel the urge to still be angry I remind myself that I have chosen to forgive despite the fact that she may not even be sorry for the pain that she caused. Forgiveness is an act. Just the same as surrender.

I guess there goes all the control that we want ... all out the window. We can't control whether a person will fall in love with us. We can't control the share market. We can't even control the outcome of our work short of just putting in our best. The actions of people around us affect everything and nothing is truly predictable. The point I'm trying to make is ... is there truly control? And does it make sense to some of you to believe in a God who loves us so much and takes care of us regardless of whether we appreciate it or not. And that's what I hope to really learn out all this; to learn how to be secure in who I am rather than to let someone else judge me with a measure that he or she can't possibly hold up to as well. It's not the easiest of things though.

Cheers! I'm off to Children's Church now ... by the way I just received a shipment of Liang's new album After 8 so look out for it in stores soon. Enjoy a sneak preview of the album cover right here ... The CD is loaded with goodies, a coaster, postcard (I think) and of course the album itself. Check it OUT!


Monday, October 22, 2007

Colours of the Rainbow Charity Concert 2007



Catch Juwita & Liang as they join hands with other artistes & musicans in supporting the Shelter Home for Children. Details are as follows:

Date: 26th Oct 2007 (Friday)
Time: 8pm - 10:30pm
Venue: Maranatha Auditorium, Glad Tidings AOG Church

If you're not sure how to get there then the map below will help out lots. Hope to see ya'll there!!! And of course if you bump into me don't forget to say hello!


Thursday, October 11, 2007

AVANTI Presents: Juwita Suwito



Hey everyone! Juwita's gonna be doing a very special gig right after Raya at Avanti Italian Restaurant over at Sunway Hotel. So bring your loved ones, friends & music fans especially because we've got great numbers planned for the evening AND all you guys will get to be a part of a LIVE recording that we'll be doing for an upcoming live album. Now isn't that something?

AVANTI is packaging the whole evening together with a 4-course dinner at RM168 per pax. Scrumptious delights await ... check out the menu!
  • Marinated Barramundi roulade with asparagus, stewed lentil, baby lettuce & balsamic reduction
  • Double boiled chicken consommé, infused with woodland herbs & pearl vegetables
  • Oven baked rack of lamb with sundried tomato crust, mushroom polenta, baby vegetables & rosemary jus
  • Caramelized Poached Apples with Homemade Almond Croquant Ice Cream
And of course let's not forget the evening's performance by Juwita herself! Make your bookings quick cos' it's gonna be a night to remember.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Parenting 101

I just got a taste of what it's like to be a DAD over the past 6 days. Gosh! It is difficult! I'm sure all you parents must be laughing your head off to read this! *grins*

I've always loved kids and for some weird reason I've always wanted to have some of my own for the longest time. Strange thing for a guy to say huh? There's just something about passing on something about me to my own flesh & blood that warms my heart. Having said that it sure isn't easy ... having to take care and pay attention to 5-year old Daniel & 9-year old Jonathan was not easy. Having to stop them fighting and to just love one another was a daunting task. For the most part I was succesful I guess but there were a lot of times where I had to be stern which I didn't like doing one bit. Sigh ...

Daniel!


Jon assembling the LEGO Rescue Copter

Anyways, I'm glad I got a taste of it and now I'm not too sure now how I can be a good father when the time comes. I want to be there for my kids when I have some of my own but right now I don't know how I can do that. Raising kids isn't just about playing with them but it's also about instilling good values in their lives and just spending LOADS of time with them.

Both K & YM's boys love me to bits and it brought a tear to my eye when they prayed a bit for me today just before I left for Phonm Penh to catch my flight. I started missing them 15 minutes out in the car ... sigh ... anyways to carry on with the point I wanna make today; kids aren't just there to entertain us, having children adds so much more to life and I hope one day (when the right girl comes along) that I'll be blessed with a family of my own. Right now I guess I still got a looooong way to go to learn how to take care of myself for starters.

Cheers!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

A Nite of Reflection

Join Juwita and other local celebrities as they join hands to support the fight against child abuse. All proceeds for the evening will go to P.S. The Children, an NGO that has been working in this area for quite some time. The event will also be in memory of adik Nurin Jazlin so come and show your support. Place are limited! Tickets are at RM20 and every dollar may save a child's life.

Date : Friday, 5 Oct 2007
Venue : Bed @ Asian Heritage Row
Time: 7.00pm - 11.00pm

For more information about the event tune in to Hitz.fm. For directions to Asian Heritage Row check out the map below.




Monday, October 01, 2007

Goody Goody Gosh!

It has oh so been a hectic week and I've got a lot to finish up tomorrow before I leave for Cambodia on Wednesday. What? Cambodia again? Well ... this time it's more of a favour as I'm taking Kenneth & Yin Meng's kids back cos' they can't fly unaccompanied by an adult.

Err ... so yup ... I'm officially an adult now, I guess forgot to read the operating manual that came with me at birth. Lots to do when I wake up in the morning ... holograms to get done, purchase orders to fax, barcode to prep and I'm doing it all for Liang's upcoming release tentatively titled "After 8". Look out for it soon at most major stores in the Klang Valley & Malaysia.

It's been crazy but I supposed it's been a good kind of crazy.

End blogpost here. It's late ... I need to sleep. G'nite!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Mirrored Stranger

I look in my mirror, this stranger I see
Who is he that stares back at me
A familiar face but those eyes they pierce
They burn, they stare so fiery fierce

I fear what I have become
A stranger in my skin that's numb
My heart I once thought pure
How different am I to a whore

I am darkness once thought bright
My soul yearns to be free of its night
Once broken, twice shattered
Can I break these chains that fetter

Who am I that stares back at me
Who am I that stares back at me

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

As I sit here at 11:37pm my mind ponders the events of recent months. How much I wanted to just let things slide but yet listened to the darkness within me that wanted revenge and wanted to hold on to anger because of my so called rights. In the calmness that I occassionally have I realise that I am still in love. But what is love that is not reciprocated?

I find myself being assailed by the memories of all that has happened. A very quiet voice says forgive her and start anew but I am so afraid. I don't want to make anymore mistakes ... I can't afford to. I've made far too many in such a short span of time.

Papa, how do I make things right? Please help me make things right with the person that I love. Can she ever love me? Lord am I the right person for her? What do YOU want from me? I want to do the right thing ... help me do the right thing because the right thing matters. Very much.

Here's to thoughts that echo in the still of the night. May they make a difference when the dawn breaks.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Juwita Suwito & Friends LIVE @ Alexis Bistro


Hi everyone,
keep your evenings free this weekend as my biz partner Juwita hits Alexis Bistro once again. Titled Juwita Suwito & Friends, Ju will also be joined by Christine Chin on vocals and backed by the able quartet of Alena Tan, Hiro, Tony Leo & Wagner. Admission is free but table bookings are exclusive for diners only. Details for this weekend's performance are as follows:

Date: 28 & 29 September 2007
Venue: Alexis Bistro, Great Eastern Mall, Ampang
Time: 10:30pm to 1:00am

For more information give the folks over at Alexis a call at +603 4260 2288. You can also reach them on the web by mailing them at info@alexis.com.my. I'll be there too so if any of you are there do say hi.

Cheers!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Forgiveness

In the past few months I've been working through a whole lot of anger & bitterness in my heart. I know that the best thing for me to do is to forgive her for hurting me so much but forgiveness is not the easiest thing to do. Today I had my very first online conversation with her. It was brief but I think I got a bit more pain out of my system by speaking to the very person who hurt me. What I learnt about forgiveness these past 2 months or so is this:

Forgiveness does not mean that the person who hurt you was right. And it does not mean that you are OK with what was done to you. And that's true for me. For a while now I kept justifying why she did what she did but the fact is what she did was plain wrong whatever her intentions were. The ends do not justify the means.

Forgiveness does not mean that the hurt goes away. I puzzle with this bit but it's true. I still hurt very much and even though it's frustrating I'm somewhat more at rest that it's not my fault that I'm hurt this much. She did what she did and she bears responsibility for that no matter what she may think or feel. Nothing changes what has happened and truly the best thing for me to do is to forgive her.

Forgiveness does not mean that reconciliation happens. This part is pretty difficult to grasp but it's a sad truth. Also things between us will never be the same again despite her claims of friendship. If you can hurt someone who loves you so much then I cannot imagine what a regular friendship could become because of selfish behaviour. Trust once broken doesn't mean it can easily be regained. I guess it still hurts very much now and again I am so very frustrated. I get very angry with myself and with how I feel. How can I ever love someone else with all this crap inside me? Time has healed a lot but it still hurts like hell at times.

There's still so much to learn about forgiveness. And I'm slowly beginning to pray blessing into her life ... in what little I can do now in praying for other people. I don't know if things will ever get better and even if it does nothing can change what has happened. That's the suckiest thing you know?

Anyways, I had a very productive day today. Attended the RIM AGM in Vistana Hotel then dropped off Juwita's brand new single "Reach" at Red104.9 & Suria FM. Got our dispatch guy to send the single over to Hitz.fm & Mix FM also and I finally prepared cheques for payments this afternoon! Another big plus was meeting up with my good friend Mary Ann for dinner. To cap the day off I changed some Singapore Dollars from sales in Singapore to Malaysian Ringgit and then banked in some cheques too! On a more fun note I changed the 2nd disc on my Spider 3 DVD set cos it was faulty AND browsed through Borders. It's been a good day. My brother is watching Spidey 3 now while I blog and I'm gonna be joining him in a bit.

Sorry guys! No pictures this time round but I will have some up soon cos' I'll be at some events this weekend plus my friend Lionel's wedding.

Cheers!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Spending Habits & Piracy

Spidey 3 on DVD! With free Golf Umbrella!

Spider-Man 3 arrives on DVD today! Mua ha ha ha ha! I've been hanging out here at Cineleisure and catching up on work after my lunch appointment at Dorae Garden in Hartamas. I've been seated here at Kopi Oh since 2-something leeching their internet & electricity. I think the proprietor is getting a bit annoyed with me so I'll probably have dinner here ... the nasi lemak & asam laksa is starting to look very, very good. Hopefully the Spidey 3 DVD will arrive at the store before I have to head off for my 8pm appointment with Juwita.

Korean BBQ Lunch!

I'm feeling super pleased that today has been a productive day. This week overall has been pretty productive and I got to spend quality time with the people that mean the most to me. I got to spend some time with Tim from my cell yesterday and on Tuesday I got to hang out with my best friend J-son too.

Anyways, I've been buying original DVDs, CDs & video games starting end last year and so far I've not picked up a single pirated movie. I think it's a good habit to pick up because it helps me think twice about how I spend my money and also I spend less time watching movies. I've thought about this long & hard and basically came to the conclusion that it's better to spend less time on the non-essentials. I figure that if I were to buy an original video game for example it'd be far better to buy a good one and make the most of it. When I was playing pirated stuff on my PS2 I realise that I played probably like 2% of my purchases with 98% of the games mostly gathering dust somewhere. Besides! Packaging on original stuff is a whole lot nicer and I think it's great to have a collection of things instead of crummy loose CD sleeves lying around.

Some of you might say "Why are you so bodoh (stupid)?" "Why spend a couple of hundred ringgit on original stuff when you can buy a pirated item for far less?" My stand on this would be that the makers of the games & movies work hard to put it out their craft in very much the same way that musicians work on their songs. Have you ever stopped to look at the film credits after a movie? That's like a few hundred people who put their expertise into making that movie you just watched! It took me going into the music industry to fully understand that fact especially in a difficult market like Malaysia ... plus pirated stuff generally finances a lot of underworld elements that we don't know about. Piracy is a crime! But I do question what our government is doing to make stuff like music, video games & software affordable to the general public. Now that's some food for thought no? Who are you financing when you pick up a pirated video game or movie?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hectic-ity, Guitar Hero II & Relationships?

It's been a pretty hectic few weeks and almost all of us were busy helping out Jac & Shawn on their big day. It was a beautiful wedding and even though all of us were so busy it was a joyous event. I must say that even though I was helping out a lot I felt super loved by my cell members. It was an honour really to be given a seat at the main table and I felt that my life does make a difference in the lives of others. I do so want to get out of this emotional rut I'm in and once again God reminded me that I have so much to live for. Check out what few pix I took at the wedding here.

We did a whole bunch of things for the wedding and it really was a blessing to be able to be there for the couple. We even managed to squeeze in a small photo slideshow with 2 days worth of effort. While we were at it Nataly & Ling Yew managed to give Guitar Hero II a whirl in between our slideshow creation. Check out these pix of Ling Yew getting a few notes off on the guitar controller!


Go go! Go Johnny Go Go!

That's what LY was looking at as he played

Oi! Aren't you supposed to be working on Jac & Shawn's slideshow?

Plus my TV has been fixed! Hooray!

The innards of my Panasonic TV

The innards being placed back in

A whole bunch of us also celebrated my best friend J-son's birthday with an awesome awesome BBQ. It's a good thing those of us who got dunked in the pool didn't fall sick. I didn't bring a change of clothes and so ended up driving home quite wet ... ha ha! Thank God air-conditioning in cars can be switched off!

I've been wondering some though ... how does one bridge the gap between being friends and something more? My greatest fear is that things get messed up and the friendship doesn't remain the same. There is someone I've known for a few years now and I have always been very attracted but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not the kind of guy she's looking for. We're comfortable around each other though but for some reason (I guess due to my own insecurity also & lack of confidence) ... I think we've just not bothered giving each other a chance. It'd be nice to give things a try and find out more in a healthy way. I honestly don't know how to figure relationships out anymore and after my last painful experience I am so afraid of being hurt deeply again. It is scary no? Especially when you've known that person for quite a long time already. Any thoughts on this anyone?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Quik Customer Service

I'm writing with some glowing praise for customer service that I've gotten recently right here in Malaysia. I gave Panasonic a call last week about my TV which was on the blink and guess what? They responded almost immediately and just this week on Monday, the technician dropped by and made off with the innards of my 29-inch Tau Giga TV.

My TV! It looks healthy doesn't it?

Not quite! It's all empty inside! An empty shell ... heh heh!

Imagine my suprise this morning when Panasonic gives me a call again to tell me that they've fixed the problem! Oowah! Awesome no? Unfortunately for fixing the problem they are charging me:
  • RM80 - Service fee
  • RM62 - For the component
  • RM25 - Delivery charges
All in all the repairs on my TV is gonna cost a whopping RM167. Crappola! That's a lot of money!!! Sigh ... I wish I could earn more money. Anyone got any freelance copywriting jobs out there? I've won a few Kancils you know? Hire me ... please? Anyways, Panasonic has really been very good to me ... even when I had problems with my DECT phone. Kudos to Panasonic's Customer Support department!

Another glowing report about customer service here in Malaysia involves Maxis. About a month or so ago I also made service complaint to Maxis and imagine my surprise when they actually sent someone to check out the reception in my apartment. The tech guy was in my apartment for a good 30 minutes before leaving with all the data he collected. I still haven't heard from Maxis yet so I guess it's time to make another call to them.

The one thing I've learnt in the past few months is this ... quit complaining about things to people who can't make a difference. If you have an issue with something bring it UP! My friend Paul Gan told me this ... if you don't inform Maxis or whomever about your problems they won't know. And if they don't know how can they fix it? So my advice to all of you out there is to VOICE OUT and don't just RANT OUT!

On another note my dad's old bike got stolen in Bentong last night! Sigh ... thieves really are desperate these days. I hope the police can locate it. A moment of silence please to my dad's faithful bike ... it really was a workhorse bike! It's gone everywhere ... well almost everywhere in the Klang Valley PLUS it's even travelled from Bentong to KL & back. I remember riding with my dad all the way from KL to Bentong on that trusty steel horse! If the police can't find it I will miss it so.

Till next time!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Remember, Remember the 11th of September

I woke up this morning and again battled through my hurt but it was a bit different today as I read Our Daily Bread. It's September 11th today and it just seems like so long ago that the World Trade Center was taken out in New York in 2001. Has it really been six years? I remember watching the events on TV back at my first job in Arachnid and it seemed like a waking nightmare. The world has in a lot of ways moved on but in my own pain it seemed as if God was prompting me to pray; to pray for comfort for all those who lost someone in the attacks. And so I did just that.

Remember those who were lost

For the rest of us, these events seem so far away but it's very real. Pain & suffering is real. The question is; are we doing anything to reach out to touch lives? I find myself being so self-centred at times and it is a struggle to care for others when I'm hurting too. I do the best I can and I guess I still believe very much that this world would be a much better place if we all just looked beyond ourselves and cared for others.

Let's spend a minute in silence for those who lost their lives today. For the victims & for the rescue workers. And for the families who miss someone that was taken from them. I pray for God's comfort on you.

On another note, I was surfing through Apple Trailers today and lo & behold the Iron Man movie has a trailer out! The closing bits brought out the fan boy in me but somehow the trailer didn't do that great a job in exciting me at the start. Whatever it is I'll still catch it when it releases next year especially since Iron Man is playing such a crucial role in Marvel's comic books since Civil War last year.



Check out the trailer here. That's all from me today.

Cheers & spend a bit of time today thinking about what you can do to make a difference in someone's life.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Elusive Freedom

Hi everyone, I've been battling my thoughts & emotions a lot especially in the last 2 weeks. It's tough when I don't really understand why my heart still hurts after so long. My best bud J-son tells me that I know what I need to do and perhaps I do. But it just seems like such a chicken & egg thing cos' it's hard to ignore the hurt that's so palpable when I get up in the morning. It's FRUSTRATING!!! Sigh ...

I don't know if I still want to be with her or if I just want to move on and be with someone else. The worst part is that I don't know how I can be with anyone else with such damaged emotions. When I sit down and close my eyes; a picture of my heart appears and I see it still bleeding & hurting. It's sad that the people you love have such power to hurt you. For the most part I've succeeded in not looking back at things but it's just come back all of a sudden with a vengeance in the past month or so.

At any rate I've had a huge measure of peace today after attending church at our brand new Dream Centre. It was strange being in such a huge place and at the start I felt so overwhelmed by all the people. I feel that DUMC as a whole is such a big place and I'm glad that at the very least we have cell groups that meet and minister to the needs at a micro level. It's awesome being a part of this church and I'm a bit sad that with all my disappointments & heartache that I'm just not able to contribute to the church but I hope to be up & running soon. There is a part of me that just can't wait to write a new stageplay and to take up cell leadership again. For now I guess I just gotta receive and really get deeper into God in this difficult period of my life. Here are some pix I took of our brand new sanctuary ... AWESOME no?

My view from upstairs. Huge ain't it?

Presenting the DUMC Dream Centre!

There! I've gotten all of my negative thoughts out of my system, it's time to get back to some Metroid Prime 2: Echoes after finish Metroid Prime 3: Corruption for the Wii. In time I hope to really live life out there with more freedom in my heart. Pray for me guys ... in the meantime I wish everyone out there happy thoughts and lotsa love! I leave you guys with this cute picture I took of some kids playing at 1U in the concourse area ... they made me feel happy cos' life is good really isn't it?

Life's full of colour to a child

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Did you know that Tunku Abdul Rahman shouted Merdeka seven times at Stadium Merdeka when we achieved independence in 1957? I betcha you many don't know that cos' I thought he only did it 3 times till 3 days ago. Ha ha ha ha ha! How sadly unpatriotic I am but nevertheless I love Malaysia to bits. I doubt I'd ever leave this the Asian Garden of Eden that's full of such delicious delights!

It's been a wonderful Merdeka weekend that started with Juwita performing at IKANO's Golden Merdeka Celebration Street Party. That was a blast and I got to meet Zainal Abidin, Reshmonu & Vince! We hung out with Vince & his sister Vanessa most of the day and chatted and chatted and chatted! It was fun! Got to meet Hannah T too and she's like super nice! I don't have any pix of myself though but that's generally the case when I wander around snapping shots with my camera phone.


Ju singing "One Golden Celebration"


Fireworks at the Stroke of Midnite!

On Merdeka day itself I spent half of my day at The Curve cos' we needed to complete our registration for the Gemilang Merdeka Race which a bunch of us had entered together. Managed to catch some of the festivities which included a marching band all dressed up in kilts! It was good fun and we waited for a balloon drop but unfortunately none of us won the iPod Shuffles that were up for grabs. Gah!


The Curve Marching Band!

And just today 6 of us made it into the finals for the Gemilang Merdeka Race! Yay! Hopefully my team-mate and I will be able to do our best and perhaps win the Macbooks! It'd be so nice to have a new laptop. My iBook's getting a wee bit old.


The Curve Gemilang Merdeka Race 07 Gang!


After the race the boys and I went over to Subang for some paint-ball & we shot some pool to celebrate Shawn's upcoming wedding to Jac. I'll put up shots of us in our get-up but needless to say it's been a good weekend. I found myself thinking of "her" some but I guess we just gotta move on and live life right?

Boys' Nite Out!

The weekend's still not over yet though! We've still got the race tomorrow and I'm gonna fill up more time and live life as full as I can. Maybe I'll spend a bit of time on the Wii as I just picked up a copy of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption plus I just figured out how to buy Wii Points online so we (my brother & I) can now download Virtual Console games! Heh heh! It's been a good weekend so far and I just thank God so much for life and for being able to enjoy it more even though I still wake up most mornings with such a deep ache but He's been there and He always will. He makes my days better! Definitely!

For more pix click here! Cheers everybody and happy 50th Merdeka to all my fellow Malaysians! MERDEKA!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Road Closures @ Mutiara Damansara for 30th Aug 2007

Hello everybody! Here's the latest on road closures at Mutiara Damansara for those of you planning on hitting the IKANO Golden Celebration street party tomorrow evening. I just got an update from the event organisers so check out the map below. Join Ju & me as IKANO kicks off our 50th year of independence. Cheers!



IKANO Golden Merdeka Celebration this THURSDAY

Hi everyone,

This is a shameless plug for Four Forty Records but do join us at IKANO's Golden Merdeka Celebration where Ju (my business partner & good, good friend) will be performing. She'll be joined by other talented individuals in the local scene - Reshmonu, Vince, Zainal Abidin & Fish Leong will be bringing their own unique flavour to the evening's festivities.


So swing by IKANO Power Centre for the biggest & ONLY Merdeka Street Party in Petaling Jaya on the 30th of August from 9.00pm onwards. There will be road closures so I'll keep you guys posted as soon as I get more details.

Cheers & happy 50th Merdeka everyone!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Indonesian Experience

Being brutally honest is very hard for me because in general I don't like speaking about bad experiences especially if it's something as sensitive about our homes. And so for the first time in my life I'm gonna make a very public statement about something that really wasn't a very good experience for me.

My cell member Jac booked tickets for Bandung, Indonesia ages ago and I was quite looking forward to the trip. I fantasised of nature spots and a picturesque city in my head but reality has a rude way of interrupting sometimes as you will soon hear about in this post.

Flying into Bandung & stepping out onto the runway of the quaint airport was nice and our first meal at this nice restaurant was a pretty good start to the trip but things soon started to take a turn downhill. It took us ages to find a hotel and driving around the city was horrendous due to the one way streets and heavy traffic. Plus Indonesia in general is a pretty dense place and the country overall isn't very well to do which didn't make it very picturesque.


The streets of Bandung

I didn't take any shots of the poorer parts of the city that I got to see but for the most part Bandung looks very much like the shot above. Sigh ... Just being there and seeing the sights & sounds made me appreciate Malaysia very much. It was also strange to see rich structures amidst the overall poor portions of the city. I stepped into a "posh" shopping mall in the southern part of the city and boy was it a very different place compared to most of Bandung. It just made me realise that the disparity between the rich & the poor is huge in Indonesia. It must be such a struggle and when I thought about it I wouldn't even know how to bridge that gap if I were in government in Indonesia.


The Paris Van Java mall

To be fair we did have one highlight and that was the trip up to Tangkuban Prahu where we spent a couple of hours looking at volcanic craters. The experience was marred somewhat by peddlers hawking their wares and doing their utmost to hit our pity nerve (which they did succesfully) but other than that I loved every minute on the volcano. That was the one thing that made my trip to Bandung worthwhile. Our guide was a pleasant chap and I learnt a lot about the volcano and the legend surrounding the formation of the mountain. The hike made my legs ache but it was worth it.

Kawah Ratu - the main crater at Tangkuban Prahu

To be fair to the city, one of my acquaintances whom I met in Singapore last month was a very pleasant chap and he kept SMS-ing me things to look out for which was really nice of him. I wish the other nature sights were nicer but Maribaya waterfall was dirty (at least the part of it that we saw) and we accidentally went to theme park of sorts instead of the Ciater Spa. I guess for me it was an eye-opener because I experienced for myself what life was like to the average Indonesian and it's a difficult life with not much luxury.

The food wasn't that great to me cos' in general Javanese/Sundanese cuisine has a lot of raw vegetables and the average warung or stall doesn't keep their food heated up. A lot of the stuff is just laid out on plates and served cold which didn't make food very appetising. Veggies were served ulam style and eaten raw with chilli. The fried chicken was good though but overall I didn't really enjoy my meals. I guess I've been spoilt somewhat by the variety of Malaysian food ya?

One thing I learnt from the trip was that company makes a world of difference and my travel mates Diani, Jac, Shawn, Sanjay & Abner certainly made the whole thing fun. Guys, if you're reading this ... you guys RAWK! I loved hanging out with you ... and ... shhh ... drinking too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Love you guys!

For a glimpse of the more scenic shots I took, check out my photo album by clicking here! All taken with my brand new W810i.

Cheerios!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Travel Fever 2007

The past few months have been filled with lotsa traveling. I feel really blessed to be able to go to so many different places and to be able to enjoy myself without pining for someone all the time. I thank God so much for how He's been working in my heart but there's still a long way to go to recover after all the hurt that's been inflicted upon me.

Anyways ... just thinking about the places I've been to in the past few months amazes me lots. Here's a list of places that I've hit since the start of 2007! I'll try to put it in chronological order as best I can.
  • Ipoh
  • Singapore (3 times already so far, once for Phantom of the Opera, once for our Esplanade gig & last month for Eagles Leadership Conference)
  • Port Dickson
  • Cambodia
  • Malacca
And in a few days time I'll be off to Bandung, Indonesia! Yippee! This will be my first time in Indonesia and I am most looking forward to it! I'll get to see a real live volcano!

It's been a tiring August filled with travelling plus I've been consolidating stuff for our label Four Forty Records. At the same time I'm working through a lot of my personal issues with Ps Mike & my buddy J-son. There's just so much to do and at times I wonder how God's gonna fix up the mess in my heart. I memorised Romans 12:12 and have been repeating it to myself daily to help me get through the times when I struggle with hopelessness & the pain that revisits me time & time again. The verse gives me strength and I'm thankful that I have God's Word to hide in my heart.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction & faithful in prayer."

Depressing thoughts aside ... I had a very memorable weekend hitting Malacca and hanging out a bit with some local celebrities during a shoot with NTV7 on Sunday. Anuar Zain is such a cool guy and it was easy chatting with him while we were eating lunch and waiting for rehearsals to start. I didn't feel at all uncomfortable and it made me realise that celebrities are just people like you and me. ;)

I got to meet Sheila Majid again (last time I met her was at the Visit Malaysia Year 2007 launch) and she's very, very nice. I am truly privileged to be a part of the music industry and in some ways I still can't believe I get to meet the very people I used to watch on TV or listen to on the radio. At the same time I'm finding a new faith & belief in Malaysian singers & musicians. I feel ashamed to have not paid more attention because we have such wonderful talent right here in our own backyard ... I wish our radio stations would do more to give room for the English scene to grow. We're missing out on a lot of good music in favour of all the Akons, Gwens & Avrils! We really should give local music a shot cos' there are real gems there!!!

Cheers & do remember to check out Juwita & the other local artistes I met on TV this Merdeka! Tune in to NTV7 at 8:30pm on the 31st of August to catch the Nite of Soulful Stars Merdeka Special!

That's enough from me today-lah. Click on the pix below to check out some of the shots I took over last weekend & share a bit of my life in the Malaysian music scene.






Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Multiplication & the Start of Something New

We just had our multiplication party last night and the Salt Shakers are officially retired. Two new cells now exist in its stead:
  • The Faith Healers led by my buddy J-son
J-son getting his feet washed by Choon Ean
  • The Star Blazers led by Daphne
It's Daphne's turn now

It was a wonderful evening filled with food, chatter & laughter. We had a great encounter with God in worship and it was a humbling experience to have our feet washed by our leaders. It is a true mark of Christian leadership that we are servants first rather than the head of anything.

New pathways & adventure awaits both cells and I can't wait to see where it'll all lead to. I've just set up a new Multiply account for the new cell and hopefully I'll be able to manage both accounts (mine & the Faith Healers) properly. My idea is that we do it together at cell to share a bit of our lives to everyone we come in contact with. I think it'd be a wonderful way to connect to people. Won't you come join us on this ride?

Check out the brand new Faith Healers Multiply site at http://faithhealers.multiply.com for more pix of our multiplication and also to keep updated on our going-ons & activities!

Cheers!

Friday, August 10, 2007

DiGi CelebriTeen 07!

It's pretty cool that DiGI really does all kinds of stuff to really connect with their consumers. I think the whole DiGi CelebriTeen thing is such a wonderful idea. Maxis?! What the heck are you guys doing? Just having a dumb tagline like No 1 and most number of subscribers in Malaysia ain't gonna cut it. There's practically no value-add to using Maxis' services. I'm seriously thinking of moving to DiGi next year once number portability hits. Why bring up DiGi now? Well cos' I'm playing a small part in this year's CelebriTeen contest!

Ju & this year's semi-finalists

DiGi offers so much more to consumers. For eg. I was at Good Charlotte just a few months ago because I got an invite from MTV Asia and I was so envious of the DiGi customers who got to go into better viewing areas. The thing that slightly irked me was ... hey! I'm in the industry and here I am out here with the rest of the world? What gives? Oh! My point really is that DiGi really gives back to the consumer. When was the last time Maxis ever gave anything free to their consumers? No free concerts. No nothing. I have personally not gotten a single privilege from Maxis that made me feel like a valued consumer. All we get from Maxis is bills, bills, bills! What a sucky thing it is to be a Maxis subscriber.

On a more positive note, it's always wonderful to see Ju work with talent. Some of the kids really had a good thing going. There was this one kid Ashraf who had such a cool rock tone to his voice. He's this small sized dude but man ... the rock tone was just amazing. He's my personal favourite of the lot. Here's a pic of him doing his Ramli Sarip thing! Coolness!


Up, Up & Away Super-Ashraf!

At any rate we'll be seeing more of them at the Semi-Finals that's coming up on the 18th of August at Mahkota Parada Malacca. If any of you happen to be there swing by. I'll be there with Ju and she'll be guest judging. As a treat she'll also be performing some songs for all of ya. Check it out!

For more DiGi CelebriTeen goodness click here!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Early Morning Airport Drive & Spidey 3!

It's 9:30am and I've been awake for 5 hours! I had the opportunity to bless J-son and accompanied him to the airport this morning so I could drive his car back. J has been such a great friend to me and I recall all the different things he's helped me out with in our friendship. He's such a great support to me and definitely a great encourager.

I'm sitting here in McDonald's Centrepoint now and will be dropping by OCBC to bank-in some cheques and cash for my start-up, Four Forty Records. Then it's home sweet home to catch up on some zzz's followed by some catch up on work & looking up chords for worship tonight at cell group. :)

On a lighter note, the Spider-Man 3 DVD is hitting stores October 30th and I can't wait to pick up a copy for myself to complete the trilogy on DVD. Maybe I should pre-order it with that DVD store I frequent in Cineleisure.

Spidey 3 on DVD! Coming REAL Soon!

Cheers and have a great rest of the week to everyone who is reading this. I just heard on the radio that some people hate Wednesdays cos' they feel it's neither here nor there so here's a big big shout out to everyone to smile & be grateful for all the good things you have in your lives now; both big & small.

Adios.

Monday, August 06, 2007

An Eventful Weekend

I've just had such a weekend. It all started with PC Fair on Friday with Nataly & Ling Yew where I spent all day walking around the exhibition halls over at KL Convention Centre. Check out the link below for pix of our PC Fair adventure.

Quickly snap the picture-lah!

I woke up bright and early on Saturday morning at 6am. Did my Quiet Time then messed around with Multiply a bit before quickly packing some cleaning utensils and a change of clothes for the Dream Centre clean-up. I also packed up the items that I needed to send off through the Youth Team over to Yin Meng in Cambodia. It was wonderful working together with so many people in cleaning up the church premises. I felt privileged to be there and I guess that I've been feeling more & more privileged to be a part of God's work in the midst of all the messed-up-ness of my life.

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Off to Work We Go

After cleaning up the section of church that was assigned to us Nat, Ling Yew, Tim, Kenneth & myself headed to Chow Yang and had brunch. The wantan mee I had was pretty good and Tim generously ordered some popiah to share out with the rest of us. It was Nat's first time having popiah and I think she quite liked it. WIth brunch done and out of the way we went to Angie's place to shower before Patrick came over to lead us in our book study. It was a hot and lazy afternoon but we persevered through it! Ha ha!

Nat, Ling Yew, Tim & I then hit Children's Church. I helped out a little with the song lyrics for worship and was just in awe as the kids worshipped. There was just something about their voices that made it special.

The Kids in Worship

We stole off for a bit at around 5 and went to this awesome pan mee place nearby. YUMS! The day did not end yet as there was still church after and dinner together with Jac & Shawn. I was really blessed to have had so much company over the weekend.


Pan Mee

Sunday was good too! I did a lot of chores in the morning. I swept and mopped the whole apartment, wiped the TVs, wiped the fan in my room and also wiped the book compartment that was on my loft bed. I then cleaned the sink, toilet bowl and scrubbed the floors in the shared bathroom outside. Oh! I also folded my laundry too! I then had some time to play a bit of Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition after lunch. I rested a bit this afternoon but just couldn't sleep and lay there in bed with my eyes closed.

I got up at around 3-something and played some more RE4 before pushing off for the SIB KL BM fund-raising dinner at Golden Palace Seafood Restaurant on Jalan Pudu. It was nice being there and experiencing how they celebrated their upcoming church building. The evening was full of dances and singing. Although the speeches were kinda long. Ju sang 6 songs for them; Shackles, Teman Sejati, Sambutan Gemilang, Satu Suara, One Golden Celebration & Belaian Jiwa. I never tire in hearing Ju sing the same songs all the time cos' I just love her voice. It reminds me why I continue to work with her and to support her cos' I really believe that her voice is used by God to touch people in their hearts.


So that was my weekend this week. Exciting huh? But it has been tiring and this week marks another step closer towards the end of 2007. Time really does fly. It just seemed like yesterday that I had just gotten back from Singapore!

I hope everyone of you had a good weekend just experiencing all that God has for each of you.

Vote for JUWITA on the Hitz.fm MET10 Chart

Hey everyone!

Vote for Juwita on Hitz.fm's MET10 chart. She's currently now at number 4 with "Walk Away"! If you love her music then please take some time to cast a few votes for her at the Hitz.fm website.

Check out the charts and vote for it at http://www.hitz.fm/05/charts/mytop10/

Cheers!

A Tribute to Roland

I caught up with my buddy Roland last Thursday after shopping and picking up stuff for Yin Meng (the stuff gets sent to YM in Cambodia when the youth mission team flies there this coming week) over at Mutiara Damansara.

We had dinner at this place called Empress Cafe over at the Curve which had a food menu that strangely enough did not fit in with the decor. Check it out if you don't believe me. It had posh stylings but the menu had pizza and indonesian dishes. I didn't really like the food that much but maybe that was also because I was feeling kinda full.

Nevertheless, company always makes a difference so Empress Cafe turned out not to be so bad cos' I had good company. It was good catching up with him over food and just being comfortable with a good friend. There were laughs and cheeky retorts but mostly it really felt good to be hanging out with someone with whom I could just be myself.

My friend Roland

Anyways, Roland has been a good friend to me and when my buddy J-son cannot be there for me I was hanging out a lot with Roland. There was one time when we went all the way to Berjaya Times Square and back just cos' I felt like I didn't want to watch a movie in the end. Heh heh ... sounds like something a girlfriend would do. But Roland totally understood and we ended up playing some Nintendo Wii that evening. Good ol' Roland. Thank you so much for being such a friend.

Anyways, as we were leaving Cineleisure after watching Disturbia we caught a glimpse of this car that had something really cool on it. Check out the pix below to find out what it was.


Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No ... its ...


Heh heh ... can you see who's cool?


Who's cool?

What a coincidence huh? But yeah I fully agree that Roland is cool. Maybe we should check out the website and see what's going on there. Let's all click on www.rolandcool.com shall we? So yeah Roland. This blog post is for you. Thank for being such a friend to me especially when I needed company the most. I hope things work out for you with your promotion. Thanks bud! You are the BEST!