Emotional "Flashing"

Is it rude to over-expose what one is feeling even if it's something as public & voluntary as a blog? Does it greatly damage the reputation of the person who is baring his heart and soul? The Bible says this in 1 Corinthians 10:23-24.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

Blogging in some respects can be a very selfish thing. I know I do it for my own therapy. Why do I just bare everything? Because it's difficult having all these thoughts & emotions cooped up inside. It's easier to just vent it out rather than to be silent about it. Maybe it's a selfish thing to do ... the question I'm asking myself is this; do I blog for my own good or do I blog for the good of others?

A part of me really would like something good to come out of this blog. Maybe what I'm going through can help encourage someone else who may be going through something similar? Maybe some of my deep thoughts will strike a chord in someone and lead them to discover what the Bible says for themselves? Maybe my foray into the music industry will also inspire someone else to pursue their dream to make a difference in our country and beyond?

What I do not want this blog to be is this - a meaningless exercise that I go through in putting my heart & thoughts down on paper. I want this blog to make a difference in the lives of the people who actually drop by regularly to read my posts. That's what I want. So here comes the hard part ... I leave it to all of you to make a decision through a poll.

Drop me a line. Let me know what you think. Because blogging for no reason means that I'd much rather stick to my own private journal and forego putting my heart on its sleeve here.

The Long & Lonely Road

I had a pretty long day today, was up at around 7:30am and spent the better part of the day in church at a leaders planning from 9:00am all the way till 2:00pm. Then I caught Lions for Lambs with my brother, his cell leader Jac & her boyfriend Alvin. But the kicker came in the evening when I hung out with some of my old Varsity Christian Fellowship mates in UM and wow ... almost everyone of them have kids & are MARRIED!

Some of my old PKV mates (GOODNESS! I AM FAT!)

I'm really happy for everyone but they made me realise that my life is heading down a very different path. I too want a family and kids but I can't have both. Not at the moment. WIth every challenge that I face building Four Forty Records it's gonna be difficult to raise a family much less take care of a wife whom I wanna love with all my heart. No sacrifice ... no victory.

A testimony I heard from one of the leaders in my zone (thank you for your honesty Uncle Beng Keat) made me realise this. We all wanna achieve something, do something in life but not many of us are prepared to pay the price. In Christianity one of the things we believe in is that all of us share the sufferings of Christ. I figure I'm sharing in a part of it right now - going through a huge career challenge, being rejected by the very person I loved with all my heart, etc and we feel like quitting or gripe/complain about it. The part of me that is still somewhat strong says ... "BITE THE DAMN BULLET! STICK WITH IT!" and there's the part of me that is so emotionally scared that goes "I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING...". Ha ha! I should just listen to the strong voice and stick with it. So what if she doesn't love me back. I know I have done all I can to love her and prove to her that I love her and I wanna grow as a person. And that should be enough ... it's her choice at the end of the day. And we all have the gift of choice so it's her right.

This is my road to walk ... WALK IT THEN! And stop complaining about how darn tired I am and emotionally drained my inner being is. Just walk the line! No need to charge into battle but just walk the path and take my time to do it.

And that as they say ... is that.