It's been awhile since I last put up a blog post. I've not been feeling like writing anything lately but that's cos' I'm pretty busy with the Children's Church Christmas party helping the kids out in the play. I am so glad that I'm able to put my creative thinking cap on.
Anyways, I've been thinking a lot about control and how much we (we as in we humans) want so much to be in control of our lives. We want our choices. We want to be able to determine the outcome of things through our actions. We want to believe that we have control over our lives and our place in our part of the world. I realise more and more that we do not have control over a lot of things. While we may be able to put our hands to the plough and work hard at things ... many occurences in life just aren't within our control.
I've been feeling this a lot in my singlehood and Ps Mike (the guy who has been spending loads of time with me to sort out my internal issues) has been sharing with me a lot about surrender and making a daily decision to surrender my deep, deep desire to be with someone. It's just the same as forgiveness ... where whenever I feel the urge to still be angry I remind myself that I have chosen to forgive despite the fact that she may not even be sorry for the pain that she caused. Forgiveness is an act. Just the same as surrender.
I guess there goes all the control that we want ... all out the window. We can't control whether a person will fall in love with us. We can't control the share market. We can't even control the outcome of our work short of just putting in our best. The actions of people around us affect everything and nothing is truly predictable. The point I'm trying to make is ... is there truly control? And does it make sense to some of you to believe in a God who loves us so much and takes care of us regardless of whether we appreciate it or not. And that's what I hope to really learn out all this; to learn how to be secure in who I am rather than to let someone else judge me with a measure that he or she can't possibly hold up to as well. It's not the easiest of things though.
Cheers! I'm off to Children's Church now ... by the way I just received a shipment of Liang's new album After 8 so look out for it in stores soon. Enjoy a sneak preview of the album cover right here ... The CD is loaded with goodies, a coaster, postcard (I think) and of course the album itself. Check it OUT!
