Value & Acceptance

Are You Alone in The Crowd?

I know I haven't blogged in awhile ... I guess I'm learning to shut up more instead of expressing what's going on inside my head & heart. It doesn't seem to make sense these days to wear my heart out on my sleeves but here's one of the rare posts that I will be making based on what's happening in my life right now.

2009 is starting out to be pretty busy. There's a tonne to do at work. Some clearing up of audit stuff for the record label PLUS there's a bit of an evolution happening at cell. Got hit by a few hard hits over the weekend but I'm surviving. Something feels different inside and I guess I'm sad to have temporarily lost a friendship that's been blessing to me for the past year. Life "happens". As always.

Here's something I learned today as I was counseling a friend which turned out to be a big revelation to me too. I'll sum it up below:

"We only get hurt by people because of the value we place on our friendship with them. The truth is not everyone values us the same way and perhaps we shouldn't value them as much in terms of taking to heart what they say. Not everyone knows us through and through and we end up getting unnecessarily hurt by these people."

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we get hurt sometimes becomes of how much we value certain people. Some people just don't value our friendship as much and sadly they don't take the effort or time to get to know us well enough. Actions & comments are made loosely and that's when we get hurt. The worse part is people who don't appreciate us enough and we end up feeling rejected.

I'm still figuring it out but I am learning that we don't need to be accepted by everyone. It's the acceptance of the ones who take the time to see beyond the external that should matter most. It hurts a whole lot when much is given to a person but nothing is given back in return. It cuts deep when a person refuses to break out of their own mindsets about us. It kills us when we are misjudged and presumptions made based on false impressions. Not many truly bother to see beyond what is on the outside. Not many are able to. After all don't we all judge a book by its cover most times? Some of you would say no ... but I would challenge you to ask yourself that question again and think real hard about it because you'll find that you won't like the answer that surfaces within.

The point I'm trying to make is this ... I'm learning for myself that we can only give someone love & care only if that person allows it. We can only give as much as the person wants to receive; beyond that it's very difficult to touch a person's heart if that person is closed off. Isn't it sad that we are able to close ourselves off to love because we have far-flung expectations? We don't truly appreciate the choices that are presented before us because we're always looking far far away for better options or choices; not realising that the best options are already there in front of us.

Maybe at the end of the day it's about us accepting ourselves first before others can accept us. Maybe the value of our relationships start with the value we place on ourselves? We put far too much value on what other people think of us but the fact is that no one can truly know what's inside us except us & God. So why do we put so much stock on what others say about us? Is that the reason why we end up getting hurt & disappointed? Now that's a thought for us to chew on ...

I don't really know what I'm trying say in this post; maybe some of you have insights that would evolve or change my view on this but I think I'm close to the mark on this. I'm still sorting my own thoughts though so don't take what I have to say today as the Gospel truth. Anyways, give all this a thought; hopefully some of you would make better sense of what I've been mulling on. I'd love to hear your own insights on this matter.

Till next time.