Salt of the Earth

A Sprinkle of Salt

I promised myself just this week that I'd make more of an effort to blog so am gonna write something short today. I was reading Our Daily Bread today and found the following rather amusing yet true. Have a read:

As the “salt of the earth,” Christians can make others thirsty for the Water of Life.

We should realise that all of us are examples in life no matter what our beliefs are. What we say, how we act and what we do reflect who we are on the inside and inevitably influences others to become better people or to just give in and follow norms that may not necessarily be right. The wrong thing does not become right just because everyone is doing it.

The danger about being liberal is that everything is left to opinion and there is no absolute truth While I agree that there are areas of life that are in shades of grey; we still need the blacks & the whites. Without black or white how would we know what's right & what's wrong, what's good & what's bad?

Think about it.

As I sit here at 11:37pm my mind ponders the events of recent months. How much I wanted to just let things slide but yet listened to the darkness within me that wanted revenge and wanted to hold on to anger because of my so called rights. In the calmness that I occassionally have I realise that I am still in love. But what is love that is not reciprocated?

I find myself being assailed by the memories of all that has happened. A very quiet voice says forgive her and start anew but I am so afraid. I don't want to make anymore mistakes ... I can't afford to. I've made far too many in such a short span of time.

Papa, how do I make things right? Please help me make things right with the person that I love. Can she ever love me? Lord am I the right person for her? What do YOU want from me? I want to do the right thing ... help me do the right thing because the right thing matters. Very much.

Here's to thoughts that echo in the still of the night. May they make a difference when the dawn breaks.

Spending Habits & Piracy

Spidey 3 on DVD! With free Golf Umbrella!

Spider-Man 3 arrives on DVD today! Mua ha ha ha ha! I've been hanging out here at Cineleisure and catching up on work after my lunch appointment at Dorae Garden in Hartamas. I've been seated here at Kopi Oh since 2-something leeching their internet & electricity. I think the proprietor is getting a bit annoyed with me so I'll probably have dinner here ... the nasi lemak & asam laksa is starting to look very, very good. Hopefully the Spidey 3 DVD will arrive at the store before I have to head off for my 8pm appointment with Juwita.

Korean BBQ Lunch!

I'm feeling super pleased that today has been a productive day. This week overall has been pretty productive and I got to spend quality time with the people that mean the most to me. I got to spend some time with Tim from my cell yesterday and on Tuesday I got to hang out with my best friend J-son too.

Anyways, I've been buying original DVDs, CDs & video games starting end last year and so far I've not picked up a single pirated movie. I think it's a good habit to pick up because it helps me think twice about how I spend my money and also I spend less time watching movies. I've thought about this long & hard and basically came to the conclusion that it's better to spend less time on the non-essentials. I figure that if I were to buy an original video game for example it'd be far better to buy a good one and make the most of it. When I was playing pirated stuff on my PS2 I realise that I played probably like 2% of my purchases with 98% of the games mostly gathering dust somewhere. Besides! Packaging on original stuff is a whole lot nicer and I think it's great to have a collection of things instead of crummy loose CD sleeves lying around.

Some of you might say "Why are you so bodoh (stupid)?" "Why spend a couple of hundred ringgit on original stuff when you can buy a pirated item for far less?" My stand on this would be that the makers of the games & movies work hard to put it out their craft in very much the same way that musicians work on their songs. Have you ever stopped to look at the film credits after a movie? That's like a few hundred people who put their expertise into making that movie you just watched! It took me going into the music industry to fully understand that fact especially in a difficult market like Malaysia ... plus pirated stuff generally finances a lot of underworld elements that we don't know about. Piracy is a crime! But I do question what our government is doing to make stuff like music, video games & software affordable to the general public. Now that's some food for thought no? Who are you financing when you pick up a pirated video game or movie?

Hectic-ity, Guitar Hero II & Relationships?

It's been a pretty hectic few weeks and almost all of us were busy helping out Jac & Shawn on their big day. It was a beautiful wedding and even though all of us were so busy it was a joyous event. I must say that even though I was helping out a lot I felt super loved by my cell members. It was an honour really to be given a seat at the main table and I felt that my life does make a difference in the lives of others. I do so want to get out of this emotional rut I'm in and once again God reminded me that I have so much to live for. Check out what few pix I took at the wedding here.

We did a whole bunch of things for the wedding and it really was a blessing to be able to be there for the couple. We even managed to squeeze in a small photo slideshow with 2 days worth of effort. While we were at it Nataly & Ling Yew managed to give Guitar Hero II a whirl in between our slideshow creation. Check out these pix of Ling Yew getting a few notes off on the guitar controller!

Go go! Go Johnny Go Go!

That's what LY was looking at as he played

Oi! Aren't you supposed to be working on Jac & Shawn's slideshow?

Plus my TV has been fixed! Hooray!

The innards of my Panasonic TV

The innards being placed back in

A whole bunch of us also celebrated my best friend J-son's birthday with an awesome awesome BBQ. It's a good thing those of us who got dunked in the pool didn't fall sick. I didn't bring a change of clothes and so ended up driving home quite wet ... ha ha! Thank God air-conditioning in cars can be switched off!

I've been wondering some though ... how does one bridge the gap between being friends and something more? My greatest fear is that things get messed up and the friendship doesn't remain the same. There is someone I've known for a few years now and I have always been very attracted but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not the kind of guy she's looking for. We're comfortable around each other though but for some reason (I guess due to my own insecurity also & lack of confidence) ... I think we've just not bothered giving each other a chance. It'd be nice to give things a try and find out more in a healthy way. I honestly don't know how to figure relationships out anymore and after my last painful experience I am so afraid of being hurt deeply again. It is scary no? Especially when you've known that person for quite a long time already. Any thoughts on this anyone?

Breaking My Dead Silence

I've been super silent these past few weeks cos' I've been doing a lot of traveling. I was in Cambodia and that was followed up by a recent trip to Singapore for Eagles Leadership Conference where I was thoroughly inspired by all that I heard there. In case some of you don't know who Joni Eareckson-Tada is here's a link to her website. I've been very touched by her sharing of her life to all those who attended the conference.

Here's a pic of Joni I pulled off the web

I have had the privilege of listening to her 3 times in the past few days and I look into my heart and I realise that the disabilities I have are far worse than Joni's quadriplegia. The one thing that strikes me most is the pure joy that emanates from her and I shared with Juwita that I'll miss hearing that. I am more disabled than Joni in her wheelchair. I am bound and trapped by my own selfishness, self-centredness and by self-pity. I'm not being who God wants me to be and I'm thankful that He shows me right now in this time of my life.

I have had to make hard choices in this past month especially. I have to let go of someone who has become very close to me and to trust God to bring her back to me if it's within His plan but more importantly I have to right now work on things in my own life that I've struggled with immensely all this while. I want to lean on God in my weaknesses and come out of this strong and totally dependent on Him. I understand now that the pang of loneliness in my heart is one that is crying out for God. Even though I've known Him for almost all my life I have yet to totally give my life over to Him. I'm just as stubborn in having my own way as any other person. To be fair to myself I have grown a lot and learnt how to give up things to Him but I guess being human it takes us such a long time to really learn how to trust God completely with our lives. A very good friend of mine once said to me that the problem with being a living sacrifice is that we tend to wander of God's altar. How true that is. How true.

I've got a few pix to post on my recent trip to Singapore. I'll drop a link to them later tonight once I've uploaded the pix. Right now I just wanna close by thanking God for Joni Eareckson-Tada and the inspiration that she is to so many; that she allows God to use her and in her humility to not let her suffering become a crutch but rather a strength that gives God complete glory. I was just telling my business partner Juwita that I'll miss hearing her voice because it has become so familiar all throughout the conference. There is such joy that emanates from her and I thank God for someone like Joni who can rejoice because of her suffering.

That's all from me. Keep an eye out for my pix soon. I've gotta get em' off my phone and upload em' in a bit.

Cheers!