The Promise

I haven't blogged in yonks and here I am posting an entry after watching a Mix FM sponsored premiere of "The Promise" starring Cecilia Cheung and some Korean dude. I can't remember his name at all cos' He wasn't that good looking to begin with. The other notable in the movie was Nicholas Tse who played the bad guy.

I didn't have any expectations at all for the movie and went into the cinema not knowing what was in store for me. In short I must say I was pretty amused by the movie in general. To its credit the cinematography was alright with some really nice angles & framing. Plus some of the scenery was breathtaking but that's all the praise the movie is going to get from me.

The plot was simplistic and it meandered on for most of the movie. It felt like one huge uncontrollable fairy tale complete with ridiculous scenes of people flying in the sky. Some of these scenes were supposed to be romantic but I think a lot of us in the cinema ended up laughing instead of being touched. Sigh ... you know a movie is in trouble when you see a guy pulling his lady love through the sky like a kite. There were moments when it could have been really romantic but somehow everything just falls flat because of the direction the story was being steered into. There were moments of campiness in the movie too; especially Nicholas Tse's weird stick weapon that had a gold hand with its index finger pointing out. The movie is just filled with moments that confuse you; should I be laughing now or should I be crying?

The casting was pretty weak too. The Korean guy wasn't a very strong lead actor and I must say that Nicholas Tse overshadowed him on all counts. I mean if you don't have acting chops at the very least be good-looking-lah ... aiyo! Cecilia Cheung felt miscast too! I mean she's always this sweet character in all her previous roles but in this one she's supposed to be a seductress whom men would die or kill for. I didn't get that at all and honestly I don't see why everyone in the movie wanted her so much. Silly men!

The writers tried to deal with a wide variety of themes but I think in trying to deal with so many themes everything just diluted along the way. Personally as a amateur writer I've found from experience that having too many themes just confuses the audience and the end-product just becomes weak. Here are some of the themes that I think they were trying to deal with:

• Love (sacrificial, unrequited, scorned, etc)
• Loyalty & Honour
• Fate & Destiny

I suppose the main theme of the movie was about fate and how one can't really change it but it just doesn't come out strong because of way the scenes were being treated. At the start of the movie there's this scene where the Korean dude races through a herd of stampeding bulls and I tried suspending my belief but I couldn't. The movie is filled with cartoonish instances like that and I guess the movie suffered from the treatment it was getting from the director.

Sigh ... at the end of the day I don't hate the movie. The whole group of us who went had a nice laugh outside the cinema and I'd say we were amused at the very least. If you're a Nicholas Tse fan skip this one cos' there are embarassing instances in the movie that the director puts him through. Cecilia Cheung fans ... um ... she's pretty-lor. That's all I can say. If you're expecting another Hero or Seven Swords then please, please give this one a miss. Go watch "Perhaps Love" starring Takeshi Kaneshiro & Jacky Cheung. Now that's a good watch! Or better yet just catch "King Kong" - it most definitely wins my vote for movie of the year!

Cheap XBOX!

I just got a call from my buhd over at Gamester Direct in 1U about a sweet deal for an under-played XBOX for just RM800! If I could afford it I'd probably get one but as it is I've already made my one brand new console purchase for the year already. Yes ... I must admit now that I have gotten me a brand new NINTENDO DS and it's still not even a month old. Anyway if anyone of you are interested in the XBOX just head on over to Gamester Direct in 1U and ask Eddie at the shop. Tell em' you read about it on Chris Leow's blog. The XBOX package contains the following:

• 2 S-controllers (the smaller sized XBOX controllers not the clunky ones)
• 2 original games (Halo 1 & Star Wars: Clone Wars)
• 150 "other" games
• The XBOX unit itself plus the cables (TV, power cable, etc)

I'm not too sure what colour it is though so if check it out if any of you out there are interested. It's a pretty sweet deal I must say! Meanwhile I gotta get back to my DS ... I've been playing with it a whole lot more than my GameCube or my PS2. The touch screen on that baby brings a unique flavour to gaming and I must say I've been having loads of fun playing Kirby: Canvas Curse and just recently acquired a copy of Meteos too which I have yet to spend much time on.

Long live NINTENDO!

Lazy Blogger

I realise that I am such a lazy blogger. I am not compelled at all to write on a daily basis. I think that's because I keep a journal of my own which contain all my thoughts. Writing is therapeutic and I think my personal journal is one of the things that helps me get through life. It unravels the jumbled mess that's in my mind and it's sorta like talking to God too. I've been keeping a journal since 2003 I think and I've yet to go back and read all the stuff from before. It's like I pen all these things down just to get it out of my system.

The BIGGEST news I have is my brand new iBook (well almost brand new cos' I bought it 2nd hand from my Singaporean friend's girlfriend). Macs are totally cool and OS X is a joy to use. It's UNIX roots are something I have yet to explore fully though and the thought of writing time-saving AppleScripts sends a tingle down my spine. Looks like the programmer in me isn't that dead after all.

I wish the iBook had a bigger hard-drive though cos' I loaded it with MP3s and I pretty much filled the hard-drive already ... BUMMEROO! White objects are so hard to keep clean and already the pristine white surface is getting dirty. Sigh ... time to plonk more money down for some expensive cleaning solution. Will probably get some when I hit Singapore at the end of the month since all items TECH are cheap there. MacASIA is really ripping us off; this anti-static protector I saw which costs USD17.00 is being sold for RM99 bucks which is soooooo expensive. Man! Talk about a huge profit margin.

On another note, working in Oops! Asia is uber cool. The music industry is cool although it's a real challenge to figure out how a small label like us can make a difference. Malaysians are a tough bunch; no one really supports local musicians and it's at times like this that I dislike being one. I'm the same too and I guess it's an ugly reflection of myself that I never really thought about. I don't watch local movies and I don't listen to local music. Funny how I'm now in a local music label. God certainly has a sense of humour. Don't get me wrong though ... I love what I'm doing now and I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

Hmm ... looks like I'm back to my old habit of rambling. Unfortunately it's not about video games. Maybe I'll write something about video games after this. Till then ... ta!

Resident Evolution

Hello one and all ... Happy New Year to all of you who are celebrating the Year of the Rooster over the next few days. Festivals don't seem to be as joyous nowadays; I guess once you've grown up it isn't as big a deal as it used to be. Ha ha! Maybe I'm just jaded but it was all so different when I was a kid.

I borrowed Resident Evil 0 for the Nintendo Gamecube (GCN) and rushed through it over the past week or so just to experience what a traditional Resident Evil game is like. I must say that after playing through it once, I can see why the Resident Evil (RE) series is a big turn off to some people. Here are some of the gripes that I had about old-school Resident Evil.

Up is forward & "Back" is back
Resident Evil's control scheme has got to be one of the most awful control schemes I have ever used in a video game. Pressing up on the analog stick or D-pad is very confusing and it took me awhile to get used to it. To be fair it did get tolerable after awhile.

Door-opening irritation
Loading times were a bit of a pain as the game required constant backtracking; forcing you (the player) to sit through loading animations of doors opening or climbing up ladders to load levels.

Insane & inane puzzles
Puzzles in a traditional RE game are pretty ... um ... "puzzling". There is some logic behind it which isn't that hard to figure out but the most frustrating thing about the puzzles is figuring out which objects in the backdrops are interactable. With no visual cues whatsoever the puzzles become a chore rather than a challenge to tackle.

After playing through RE0 it made me appreciate Resident Evil 4 all the more. I'm glad that Capcom dumped the old-school RE stuff and made a brand new game with RE4. Yes ... for those of you who have been following this blog, I bought RE4 about a month ago and it was a fun romp. The developers focused on action but left in a lot of spine tingling moments at the same time. It's a brilliant game, deceptively simple and yet addictively replayable. Within days of my first run through the game I went through it again after unlocking some of the super weapons just for the heck of it. I was in the middle of my 3rd playthrough on the "Professional" difficulty but then decided to pass it to my friend Kar Yean in exchange for "Resident Evil 0" and "Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem" because I wanted to find out what the backstory was for the RE universe. Eternal Darkness isn't a RE game by the way, I just wanted to play it because I've heard so much about it. RE0 was somewhat disappointing to say the least; mostly because of the 3 points I raised in this blog. I'm glad that RE4 threw away all that and made a fresh start because RE4 was such a blast to play!

If you're an action junkie then RE4 comes highly recommended. I had loads of fun and when I get it back from Kar Yean I'll have some more fun with it. RE fans who love the puzzle elements might be disappointed with RE4's simple puzzles but then again the action more than makes up for it. PLUS the enemies you battle are truly creepy; a hallmark of any Resident Evil game. Give it a whirl if you're a Gamecube owner, if not wait till Capcom releases the PS2 version. My money's on the Gamecube version though cos' the game was developed from the ground up for the GCN and it's unlikely the PS2 version will be as polished graphically as the GCN one. Resident Evil 4 definitely lived up to the media hype and certainly exceeded my expectations. Here's my final verdict on RE4; a truly evolved form of Resident Evilness.

Fun Factor: 10 out of 10
Addictiveness: 10 out of 10
Graphics: 10 out of 10
Overall Grade: 10 out of 10

Stung!

It's 12:35am and I am now sitting here at the computer listening to more Sting while I write this. 3 hours ago I was in Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil watching Sting perform LIVE! I loved every minute of it even though I'm not too familiar with the songs off his latest album Sacred Love. It was an hour and a half of pure magic as the whole stadium listened to a mix of both old and new stuff. There were songs from his older solo efforts as well as crowd pleasers from his days with The Police.

My favourite last night was definitely "Every Breath You Take" which till today remains my all time favourite Sting track. Listening to songs like "Fields of Gold" and "Fragile" live was pure bliss. Dominic Miller, Sting's guitarist was brilliant as he played his Sunburst Strat with such precision. His guitar work is so sublime and for some reason he's one of my favourite guitar players because of his work with Mr Gordon Sumner.

I'm glad I could go; almost didn't make it cos' my friend Paul and I thought there would be Leaders Meeting in church tonight. Much to our surprise and slight chagrin we found out that there wasn't gonna be any meeting. And so on Monday morning began our frantic calls to find out if there would still be tickets for Sting or not. By God's grace there were tickets that fit our budget and so we made bookings yesterday for 2 tickets.

And so my journey to the concert began at 4:30pm as I took the LRT to Kerinchi to meet Paul so we could drop by Midvalley to pick up our tickets. We had dinner at Carrefour nearby before finally driving into Stadium Putra at 7:15pm for our date with Sting.

The song that most surprised me last night was "If I Ever Lose My Faith You" and the duet he sang with one his backup singers for the rendition of "Whenever I Say Your Name". I must say that it sounded a thousand times better than the studio version he sang with Mary J. Blige. Sting's energy was amazing; being 53 years old and all. He is in my opinion one of the most defining musicians in our generation with his music that ranges all kinds of musical styles. His lyrics are pure poetry and well I truly consider him a musical genius! The band that played with him was awesome. The times when they broke into musical interludes was amazing. You could just feel the jazz in their souls as they jammed.

All in all I'm most glad I could go watch Sting; one of my all time favourite artistes in the universe. For that short moment in time I was truly STUNG! Now if only Dave Matthews would come down sometime. Heh heh!

Oh by the way check out Paul's blog here to find out what he felt about Sting. Till next time ... I leave you guys with these magical words ... STING TRULY ROCKS!

The PSP, DS & RE4 Edge

I am so hyped over the newly released Resident Evil 4 for the Nintendo GameCube. The major online video game sites have had nothing but good things to say about it. The visuals, the gameplay and the exquisitely cinematic presentation just increases the anticipated arrival of my copy. My regular supplier unfortunately can only get it in on the 17th which fortunately isn't that far away. I already have visions of crazed villagers being shot by Leon S. Kennedy dancing in front of my eyes. Man ... I wish I had a bigger TV to contain all that graphical mayhem.

On another note, I've been splurging on video game magazines this week and bought 3 issues of Edge. It is by far the best gaming publication I have ever read. The articles are thought provoking and well written. It is THE publication to read if you want to get a grasp of REAL issues in the video game design community. Check it out at www.edge-online.com. The layouts are nice and there's a design sense to them that should intrigue some of you designers out there.

I've been drooling over the PSP and Nintendo DS. The graphics on the PSP is amazing. Crisp graphics on the largest screen I've ever seen on a portable. On the other hand the DS' touch screen has tons of possibilities. It's still too early to get one as the software lineup is still kinda poor. The sexy graphics on the PSP makes it very appealing but the battery life reportedly is horrible compared to the solid 10 hours you get out of the DS. Oh well ... it's not like I can afford either at the moment anyway.

So ends my token blog post to start the new year. Yeah yeah yeah ... I know it's already 13 days into the new year but this is my first blog post of 2005. I'm such a slacker.

Talking Without Speaking, Hearing But Not Listening

Do you say the words but not mean it and mean it but not say the words?
Do you hear the words but not really listen to the heart in it?
Do we not want to be understood but we fail to understand?

Deep huh? Well not really that deep but just something that came up while I was making my daily trip back to Setapak last Friday. Give it a thought.

Gears of Solid Metal!

Ah ... where do I begin with this excellent game by Hideo Kojima? For those unfamiliar with the series, Metal Gear focuses very much on stealth and was the first of its kind. It inspired the birth of a whole new genre in gaming with an emphasis on not sneaking through levels instead of running, gunning and mowing down hordes of enemies.

But then I digress. I had a blast playing Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. It’s arguably the best installment in the series. The game play mechanics are uniquely Metal Gear and it becomes second nature once you’re used to it. You’ll probably be sneaking around like a pro in an hour or two but then again I’ve played Metal Gear games before so I’m already acquainted with the control scheme.

The graphics are superb and it’s a joy to see the wilds of a jungle come to life on your TV screen. What’s more the cinematic sequences are incredibly well done with a music score by Harry Gregson Williams that’s just oozing with movie magic goodness. If more games are made this way it’d be the best marriage between gaming and movies. Sure the dialogue can be campy and corny at times but I think that’s done on purpose as Metal Gear makes it a point never to take itself too seriously.

Hideo Kojima always has a social/political message in his games and this one is no different. Fortunately the message isn’t as preachy this time round which made the game a whole lot more enjoyable. It is the tour de force gaming experience that you shouldn’t miss on the PS2. What’s more it’s highly re-playable and very addictive. It even made me crack out my copy of Metal Gear Solid 2 for a re-play and when I get back my copy of Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes for my GameCube I’ll probably have another go at that one.

This game gets a most worthy 10 out of 10. Check it out at the nearest video game stall near you.

Fun Factor: 10 out of 10
Addictiveness: 10 out of 10
Graphics: 10 out of 10
Overall Grade: 10 out of 10

These Are The Days

We've come to the final day of our Chinese serial-like production in church. 3 months of hard work are now coming to an end. As usual it feels like a part of my life would be over with the end of the play. In every single production I've been in I've faced all kinds of different struggles; some with self and some with fellow production crew members. Suffice to say doing something we believe in always requires struggle and I guess that's why I do the things I do.

I've been ploughing through games like crazy just to get my mind off things for the past 2 months or so at the expense of sleep. I've finished a massive amount of games since the Deepavali/Raya break. Conquered Star Ocean III, Metroid: Prime and last week I finshed Metal Gear Solid 3. I've just started on Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and Pikmin 2 now. Nintendo makes the cutest games and gameplay-wise I'd definitely have to say that they unique. It can get tiring to play dark edgy games that border on the cinematic. After 2 and a half days of Metal Gear's cinematic gameplay I'd say it is a nice change indeed to play a game that's more like a game rather than a digital movie.

It's already 4:45pm now and I'll write more about this tomorrow maybe.

Ta.

What Gaming Can Teach You About Life

When I was younger, I used to be a very cautious gamer. I saved my progress frequently every step of the way in any one of my digital adventures. Moving ever slowly but surely towards the end-game. That was the old me.

In recent years, I've gotten "braver" so to speak. I venture forward in levels without saving at times (with the exception of CRPGs) and I plough through games much quicker now. What has this taught me about life you ask? Well I've noticed that I'm more open to trying out new things and it doesn't quite seem so scary to experiment with new things in life.

So that's where I am at now in life. Trying out new things to figure out my place here on this small celestial sphere floating in the outer space. It's an adventure but this time in real-life and not virtual. And that my friends is a lil' bit of how gaming has taught me to live life a little more (that and my 7 months of bumming around).

I can't wait to go back home tonight to finish off the final boss in Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

Later!

Mindless Action?

I've been playing quite a fair bit of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas; IMHO the greatest open-ended gaming experience available now on consoles. The game world itself is huge and mirrors 3 cities in the US of A. I've spent hours wandering around the first city of Las Santos and have yet to explore every single location. You've gotta see it to believe.

Of course that's not that the point of today's BLOG. After hours of playing San Andreas and hearing the characters mouth 4-letter expletives, I realise that it's affecting me tremendously. I'm not one to use expletives that much (although I do realise that I am pretty casual with words like s**t, damn & crap at times) but after hours of immersion in the game I realise that expletives seem to come readily to my mind and I'm not talking about the good-natured kind. This goes to show that games (and other forms of media) do have a huge impact on the mind and I wonder if parents really know that kids are exposed to stuff like that in something like a video game. If it can affect an adult like me (yeah, yeah I'm still childish in some ways but I am still a thinking adult nevertheless) then imagine the effect it'll have on a kid playing the exact same thing?

The Bible says this in Proverbs 4:23 which says this "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". How so very true. What goes in has to go somewhere right? And guarding my heart does not just mean guarding what I love but also what goes into my mind. Being human is mind, body & soul so I take guarding my heart to also mean guarding my mind. The concept isn't hard to grasp, it's just hard to do. I enjoy all kinds of stuff that potentially may have an effect on me and truthfully I wouldn't really want to let of these things. It's a struggle really because I don't know how much of all these things make me ME and how much of it is worldly influence. I don't believe in separatism between so called "sprituality" and "worldliness" cos' whether we like it or not we ARE living in the world; not disembodied souls wandering the Earth. I dunno ... perhaps over time I'll change but I doubt God really wants to make me not ME; it's just that which parts are the real me and which are not? Puzzling isn't it?

Just my 2 cents worth after not making any posts for almost 2 weeks. Hey! I managed to write about my faith & video games in the same post. Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm a GENIUS! NOT!!!

Das Vedanya Komrades!

Are We Meant For Greater Things?

There is something about destiny that captures our imagination. Everything from movies to games depict life in a grander scale. It explains why some of us enjoy these things so much. Normal everyday life in retrospect is boring & most times stale. After all how many of us lead lives that are exciting and filled with adventure like the characters we see portrayed in the latest Star Wars flick for example.

The search for meaning in life is prevalent in every form of media. Most forms of media have the central theme of wanting something more out of life. A young farm boy at the edge of the galaxy dreams of being a Jedi Knight. A man convicted of the murder of his wife & lover dreams of freedom and escape. A reporter ever searches for that big scoop and finds herself embroiled in the schemes of a mad doctor bent on destroying the world. That's just the movies mind you. Look into books, comics and video games - you'll find that this same theme exists. What is it about destiny that so enthralls us? Are we meant for greater things on this small blue planet that sits 2 planets away from the sun?

I'd like to believe that we are meant for greater things. Our existense here on earth cannot be something more than a fluke of chance. A random sperm fertilization that caused us to be created in the wombs of our mothers. Don't all of us have this deep sense of destiny? But as life goes by we let LIFE itself quell it. We blind ourselves with cars, the latest gadgets and perhaps that latest fling we've just had; not realising that our lives are being wasted. I for one don't want to fall in that rut. If like me you believe in a God then don't you think that He has a purpose for us here on Earth? It feels at times like this purpose is elusive; as if God means for us to seek it out in the deep recesses of our psyche. Like Dr. Henry Jones Jr. we go on a quest to search out that ancient relic in the catacombs of our souls.

I don't know about you but I know I'd want to discover MY purpose in life. I'm still figuring it out and deep down I know that the journey is part of the process. Give this a thought today. Do you know what your purpose on life is? Are you willing to make some personal sacrifices to find that out?

Carpe Diem.

I Feel Funny in My Tummy

It ain't funny when you it's all runny in your tummy. It must have been lunch because I was perfectly OK this morning. I had lunch at the mamak opposite my office today before steppin' in for work. In the past 2 hours I've heeded the call of nature twice. TWICE!

This week has been a troubling one. The Christmas production really has been taking a toll on me. All the disagreements I've been having with my buhd has got me feeling somewhat blue. Working with my best buhd on the production has not been easy. Sigh ... but I'm glad we've sorta resolved things last night during the production meeting.

On a lighter note, "The Incredibles" are hitting the big screens soon! Superheroes the Pixar Way! Now that'd be a sight to see. The trailers look good and expectations are running high. Perhaps I could catch it this weekend, hmmm? But would I have the time? Sunday can be pretty much ruled out due to the video shoot, I guess that leaves Saturday. Heh heh. But knowin' me I'll probably be too lazy to leave Setapak tomorrow.

Looks like it's gonna be a weekend chock full of production goodness spilling over into Monday too!

Mon-keys in the Zoo!

I had the pleasure of experiencing the true face of Malaysian youth in the wee hours of the morning on this not too pleasant Monday. I awoke to the sound of cat calls and hoots of the students who live in my condo. It was close to 1:30am and they were firing off fireworks, screaming and shouting. Noise emanated from every corner of each block and I couldn't help but think that Malaysian Youth are an unruly bunch. There was no electricity in the area and the students passed the time by making noise. A noisier troop of monkeys you'd be hard pressed to find. I'd bet the monkeys in Zoo Negara are a whole lot quieter. Do you think our country has hope with a generation of monkeys in our institutions of higher learning now? Brrr ... the thought just gives me the willies.

Since I couldn't sleep due to the heat & noise I sat out in the balcony with my housemate Timmy and we played guitar till the electricity came back on at around 3:00am. Since we couldn't sleep anymore after that I switched on the PS2 and continued my adventures in StarOcean III. Spent most of the time levelling up and killing robotic adversaries again & again & again! I must say that the game is starting to grow on me especially now that Fayt is causing 6,000 hit-point damage with every long-distance strike he makes. Plus I now have a healer in the party that can resurrect & heal the fallen. The combat leaves a lot to be desired though due to the inane battle-system that the developers put into place.

Today has been an exceptionally quiet day. Played lots of StarOcean in the morning. Wrote some copy for 2 Maxis jobs from Mantra & spent quite a fair bit of time organizing things for the Christmas production in the afternoon. Aaah ... this is my kind of day. Rehearsals for the stage bits start this Sunday at 2:00pm. I'm not truly looking forward to it for some reason - I've been feeling lethargic of late and I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. I feel like Bilbo Baggins in Fellowship of the Ring; like butter spread on too much bread. Bilbo, I don't know what you meant by that but I certainly feel like it. Too little butter on too much bread.

The disturbance in my sleep pattern last night is causing me to be slightly woozy. On the other hand it could also be caused the 1 and a half hour nap I took this afternoon to replace the lost hours of sleep last night. Oh well ... dinner with my family coming right up.

Ta!

Another Day Another Shoot

An arduous day of shooting for this year's Christmas production has come to a close. Nestled in the heart of the city right next to the British High Commission is a small road that takes you to a trio of quaint houses. Following the trail will lead you to a place called The Ark; a place surrounded by green open spaces - a sight rarely seen in Kay-El. That was where we held our shoot today. Twas' productive and much progress has been made. I just hope we can edit everything and put it all together in time. We haven't even started stage rehearsals yet. GOD give me the strength to go on.

This morning I reached Disc 2 of StarOcean III: Till The End of Time. The game has finally lifted off into outer space after hours of exploring some back water planet at the galaxy's edge. My party of intrepid teens are currently exploring a space station being invaded by god-like aliens. GOD-LIKE ALIENS! And they have space dragons! SPACE DRAGONS! Giant wyrms flying in space decimating entire fleets. The galaxy is in peril and its only hope is a 19-year old boy named Fayt. I wonder why the Japanese RPGs always have lead characters who are teens? It's so unlike Western games & fiction in general in which the hero is usually an adult. Do any of you know why?

Utilising a walk-through (I can hear some of you chanting "cheater ... cheater ... cheater" now) I have obtained an item called Orichalcum to upgrade Fayt's trusty sword. The aliens on board the space station are pretty tough. My first battle against them resulted in the death of a party member (not to fear though, Japanese RPGs allow you to resurrect your characters easily via items or resting at an inn). That was decidedly most uncool but it is satisfying to see 4,000 hit-point damage being dished out by my main character. At the rate I'm going I should be able to head into the endgame this week hopefully.

Another day another shoot; another day another battle in the world of Fayt Leingod. Till tomorrow.

Halo

I didn't mean the game. I'm talkin' bout HaloScan. I've just set up an account & I sense more efficient commenting power building on this blog.

Power Overwhelming.

Wedding Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down

The title says it all. It's not a Monday today so what does that leave you with? This is the 3rd wedding I've attended this year & boy did I feel out of place there alone. Jamie Sol (my ex-CG leader) had her wedding today at First Baptist. It was a simple affair but Jamie made the whole ceremony beautiful with that radiant look on her face. As the vows were being exchange I could feel just what she was feeling by gazing at her face. It was romantic. It was poetic. But alas it also got me depressed & all the more uncomfortable being me. Sigh ... it's times like this that I wish that I'm not single.

I won't go all Freudian & start psycho analysing myself but it does make me wonder if that special someone is out there somewhere. God hasn't been clear about it & so far I've struck out on every single attempt I've made. Love has just shown me it's sharp edge & boy does it hurt. It's sweet euphoria to be in love but when it's unrequited then prepare to taste pure unadulterated heartache. Is that self-pity I detect?

A glimmer of hope still exists in the recesses of my soul but its light is fading. I feel it giving out with each passing moment. Snuffed out by the dark plague of loneliness that ever so grips me. It's easy to say that God is preparing someone for you & it's easy to bring yourself to believe it but there's this nagging thought that I am lying to myself. I've heard it all before ... preachers always tell the same old tale of marriage being a life-long commitment. It's a relationship in which God has placed the two people together for a purpose. I have my own questions to that. How then do I know for certain who that person is & am I with her because I am lonely? I honestly don't know & right now I don't I think I could love someone after being hurt so much in the past. I feel really tired inside. So very tired. My life is a long dreary road leading nowhere. That's exactly how I feel at times. A lonely soul on a lonely planet. The closest person I know right now is God & thankfully it always helps to talk to Him; intangible though He may be.

So comes an end to my wallow in self-pity. It's time to unstick myself from the mire & get on the wire. Corniness is a gift of mine, when it emerges I generally feel better. Ta!

Quality Written

Amazed. Yes. Amazed. That IS the state I am in now. A M A Z E D. James (mah boss) pointed me to this blog called Fly or Die and boy can that girl write. Choice words does a BLOG make not just random rambling or prattling. By comparison my writing sucks! I spew out my thoughts and that my friends is creativity times zero. I forget that BLOGs in essence are a form of entertainment. Intellectual entertainment for the zombied masses who up till now have been inundated by MTV & Hollywood fare. Modern society has lost something precious the day the television was invented. Honestly ... how many people actually read nowadays? Sadly I too have succumbed to the temptation of idiot entertainment. It ain't wrong mind you but today as I write this my eyes have been opened & my senses awakened. Time to jumpstart reading in my life but where do I start? That, compadres is the 5 million peso question. Someone, anyone please suggest something to me; fiction preferred.

By the way, if any of you chance upon a magazine called Pinch do pick up a copy. It's free! So all you cheapskates have no excuse to pick one up. My first published article lies within those pages. And YES it's a paid article! I haven't even been paid yet but it was a proud moment to flip through the mag and see my name in print. The article wasn't worth that much monetarily but it's a first in my portfolio of published work. An ego booster indeed.

Whoops! It's 5:41 now and I'm supposed to drop by 1U to purchase some fake eyelashes for a video shoot tonight. I hope the salesgirl doesn't think I'm some sort of cross dressing freak or something. Incidentally my iD is nudging to pick up a copy of Paper Mario since I'm gonna be in 1U anyway. Hmmm ... we'll see how. Guess we'll find out tomorrow or something. Heh!

Wingapo (go watch Pocahontas if you want to know what it means).

Not Addicted After All

Mua ha ha ha ha! Looks like I'm not THAT addicted to blogging after all. It's been almost 2 weeks since my last post and honestly the only reason I'm posting something now is because I've got nothing much to do at the moment. I've been chugging along in life for the past few weeks, trudging through the dreariness that makes up the life of Da Chris.

The past 2 weeks have been filled with quite a fair bit of activity for the Christmas production that I am currently involved in. Being involved feels somewhat trying as I've been at loggerheads somewhat with my best buhd over certain things. The whole production seems rushed & stressful due to the lack of time. If there are any of you DUMC-ians out there reading this give me a call now if you can help out because there is so much to do and so little time. We especially need volunteers who can help out especially in the editing of the video segments for the production.

Spiritually it's been a dry period; a trek through an endless desert that seems to have no end. I stumbled onto an oasis yesterday morning and had a great time being quiet before God. Guess I gotta re-learn how to quiet my thoughts down so that I'll be able to listen to His voice in the turmoil that is my heart & my mind. A myriad collection of things bother me and it's so hard for me to sit down and quell these thoughts. This morning was a reprieve and it feels like today will be a good day because of the time spent with God.

On the gaming side, I visited my regular haunt in 1 Utama on Tuesday night and found to my delight that they had a copy of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door available there. That game received a monster review from both GameSpot and GameSpy. The biggest obstacle to getting the game is the hefty price tag of RM230.00. Original games are so expensive. Sigh ... Well it's not like I can't afford to get it, I could but a nagging part of my conscience whispers to me that I really should save up my finances for something more important like a notebook. My PC at home is really growing old. The CMOS battery is dead (I could replace it, but I'm too lazy) and the computer takes a day and an age to boot up. Common apps take sometime to load too (of course I was itchified and installed MS Office 2003 this week but it was slow anyway when I was running Office XP).

Oops ... looks like I've digressed somewhat. Back to gaming. I am currently in the midst of playing StarOcean III: Till The End of Time and well it's not the greatest of RPGs but for some reason I feel like I should finish it since I started it already. The real-time combat system ain't as good as Tales of Symphonia which somehow detracts a lot of fun from all the combat that my characters have to do to level up. The story ain't that great; it's standart Japanese RPG fare where main character discovers that he has great power and probably he'd end up saving the world. The game is pseudo sci-fi in a sense that the planets that Fayt (that's the protagonist) ends up crashing on always seem to be fantasy-based worlds. His main weapon is a sword and well there's magic too but it's called "symbology" in the game. It's a shame really as the game does have some interesting concepts. The voice acting is pretty terrible and the script feels like it's been written by a 12-year old. On a positive note the game does have incredible CG cutscenes which plays out here and there. Very pleasing to the eye I must say. Impressive stuff. I suppose it's hard for other games to compete with the Final Fantasy series of games. The production values in the FF series are far more superior but I suppose that's because of the larger budget that goes into making the game; that and the most talented producer from Square Enix probably helms the development of FF.

Hmmm ... it's close to November. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater is close to release and I hope it meets my expectations. For some reason I've grown to have a fondness for sneaker type games. There have been a fair number that have been released in the past few years; Tenchu, Spy Fiction & Splinter Cell to name a few. But so far none of them really can compare to the Metal Gear series. Splinter Cell was alright but after playing the past 2 games I felt that Sam Fisher's adventures weren't too cohesive. The story and gaming experience felt like it was being strung together rather disjointedly which is a shame really as Sam Fisher is such an uber cool character. Of course it helps that Fisher is voiced by Michael (Jester's dead!) Ironside - one of the coolest militant looking actors in existence.

Keep posted for more ramblings. I sense one coming up very very soon. Heh!

BIG BOOMBAD ACCIDENTE !

YES! As you can read in today's post I had an accident today. Twas' a minor one but it has caused aches in the weirdest places. My fingers on my right hand aches and my left arm aches too as well as sections of my body called my leg. Thank God I wasn't hurt at all ... but my poor bike had some damage PLUS I will have to pay to get the guy's (the guy as in the guy i hit) car a small knock up job (knock up as in banging out the dents not getting it pregnant).

It started to rain just as I arrived close to 1U. Was feeling pretty irritated that it rained just as I got in to PJ. Just as I was turning up into Damansara Perdana past the traffic lights I hit this white Proton as I was riding up the hill cos' all the cars stopped suddenly. Sigh ... talk about dumbass accidents. This certainly qualifies as one. I was drenched from the rain and I had an accident! Man ... I was feeling upset about it cos' just before the accident I had a premonition of sorts that something bad was gonna happen. To be honest I was a lil' upset with the big guy up there in heaven for allowing this to happen. I really do get upset by the smallest things which the horned one uses against me a lot. Last Saturday's bad day was a good example of it happening. In hindsight I have much to be thankful for ... I wasn't hurt at all and it that I really am able to thank God for watching over me even though I was in a bad mood as I was riding in the heavy downpour (yes, yes ... I was grumbling in my heart and asking God why oh why couldn't He have held back the rain till I got to the office).

That's life I guess ... God gives us the bad and the good, and we live with it. Hmmm ... maybe it's time to get a car and get an accident in one instead of outside of one. Heh heh!

Excelsior.